Before ‘Queer As Folk’ even debuted it received criticism from within
the gay community about how inaccurate and representatively it
portrayed gay life. So much so that the producers felt compelled to add
a disclaimer to the show that stated, “‘Queer as Folk’ is a celebration
of the lives and passions of a group of gay friends. It is not meant to
reflect all of gay society.” As is the case with many gay people, the
world of ‘Queer As Folk’ is far from what I experience in my own daily
life, but there are still things to be found within the show that are
all too accurate, proving that the show was indeed representational of
what many gay people experience. Maybe not right on the surface, but I
challenge any gay person to look at the show and not find at least one
thing to relate to.

When Marley pulled the stunt to set Michael up with a girl at the Big
Q, how many of you recalled similar experiences? Though I never got as
far as physically being setup, I’ve had those horrible family
encounters when your relatives, well-meaning though they may have been,
were trying to go through the lists of people they knew trying to find
you just the right girl. It brought back memories of Thanksgiving
dinners with the extended family around the table with most everyone
paired up except me and my sister-in-law pressing, “Why aren’t you
married? Why don’t you have a girlfriend? I need someone to conspire
with!” as all eyes suddenly turn to you waiting for an answer. Conspire
indeed! Sigh. You answer with an “I dunno,” and a shoulder shrug and
just wish you could sink into the floor, but it only brings on further
badgering including names of girls and what they like that’s the same
as you like until another family member gets it and tells her to,
“leave him alone already.” To Michael’s surprise he ended up having a
good time and actually put the straight guys in their place with his
quick comeback on football, thanks to Emmett who made him read a sports
magazine. They were all mystified at his sudden exclamation of “Cher!”
into the conversation though, but what gay guy didn’t think the same
exact thing when Tracey said, “You gotta believe?”

Justin’s adventure in the locker room at football practice also brought
back memories of the same experiences… the mystery… the
curiosity… the trying to look without seeming like your looking. My
first big crush was a football player in high school. He looked older
than he was and had a fabulous body, dark brown hair, a hairy chest, a
heavy beard – even at 17. I remember seeing him in the locker room in
nothing but his tightie whities that he amply filled out as he raised
his arms and swiped on deodorant. But as always is the case, the
weirdest things, um, stick out in your mind. He had holes in his
underwear… where was Carson Kresley to rip those shorts off of him in
1985 for that fashion emergency? But sometimes things aren’t always
what they seem cracked up to be. He was the star football jock and wore
the title well with a stuck up, cocky attitude – not much unlike Hobbs.
He barely gave me the time of day. But there was another football
player who was my savior and another hottie. He pulled me aside one day
and said that if anyone ever gave me any trouble I should tell him and
he would kick their ass. That meant a lot to me because in high school
I was fat, odd, and some kids probably figured I was queer (you weren’t
out in school back then, at least not in my school) and so no one
wanted to hang around with me. Even friends from earlier school years
acted like they didn’t know me or didn’t want to be seen with me when
passing in the halls.

The Michael/Debbie relationship also strikes very close to home because
my dad died when I was young and so I was raised by my mom. My brother
was older and not around so that left just the two of us. Michael’s
mom, Debbie, is by far the most colorful character on the show. I
recall my first impression of her was “how bizarre” when I saw Sharon
Gless in costume on ‘Entertainment Tonight.’ But underneath the wig and
other accoutrements, Debbie is the kindest, sweetest, most loving
person – exactly like my own mom. Justin on the other hand came off as
being a snotty disrespectful teenager to his mother, Jennifer. But in
all actuality, what teenager wasn’t at some point?

Justin had gotten all gussied up to go out and see Brian after their
night together. But to Justin’s surprise, Brian wanted nothing to do
with him and told him it was just sex and if he wanted more to go find
a girl and get married. As Justin’s heart broke in two, a lump formed
in your own throat as your heart sank into your stomach. When it first
aired, I remember thinking what a heartless ass Brian was. But looking
back now, that kiss off was painful for Brian too as had to keep up
that Brian Kinney appearance. His eyes glazed over when Justin got in
the car and drove away because underneath the facade, Brian Kinney is
just as human as everybody else – just as we all can find bits and
pieces of our own humanity and experience in this queer group of
friends that were not meant to reflect all of gay society, but became a
sociological paradigm for an era.