Archive for the ‘TV Tales’ Category


By Sword and Arrow

What is it about charming, yet scruffy, bow-and-arrow-toting guys and sword-bearing monarchs with perfectly chiseled torsos? History’s legends have never been hotter or more desirable than the current interpretations of Robin Hood and King Henry VIII by Jonas Armstrong and Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, respectively.

Both of these actors bring new and innovative depth to their characters. Jonas Armstrong portrays a Robin Hood that you instantly fall in love with. Just the kind of good boy you want to bring home to meet your mom. I wasn’t sure I was going to like the new BBC series ‘Robin Hood’ for all of its action and adventure, but only after a few minutes of being seduced by the charm and wit Armstrong brings to the character, I was hooked. Robin, forget women, forget Maid Marian! I am available!

Jonathan Rhys-Meyers’ King Henry, on the other hand, is the bad boy you definitely don’t want to bring home to mom, in fact you want to keep him far away from her! Who knew eating a pomegranate could be so sexually charged? I’m sure Martha Stewart never imagined it when she was preparing pomegranates for holiday cooking. Which leads me to why we would WANT to bring Henry home… to uhm… cook with. I was never overly fond of Jonathan, but I’ve changed my tune as I’ve seen his finely honed craft and charisma shine in his portrayal of Henry in Showtime’s ‘The Tudors.’

These two guys have made me look back on childhood loves with an entirely new set of eyes. I would shoot bow arrows with friends and being the nerdy kid I was, I loved Elizabethan lute music (all Renaissance music in general). Where were these guys 18 years ago for a closeted gay boy’s fantasies to run wild with?

The Queens Rule a Most Unfabulous Oscars

As a whole, the Oscars were so totally boring this year. The only eye candy were the numerous candids of Leo (Di Capro), who did not won. The only things that rescued me from the three-and-a-half hours of torture were the reigning queens of the entertainment world.

Daytime queen, Ellen, did a fabulous job holding the show together and making us laugh as only she can. Most of the other bits, especially Will Ferrell’s, were pretty lame-assed. The exception being the dancers/mimes behind the white screen. That was awesome… especially the Prada shoe. Which brings me to my fav, Meryl Streep. I was sorry she didn’t win, but Best Actress was a tough category this year with Meryl, Helen Mirren and Judi Dench all nominated.

I adore Helen Mirren and her win was so well deserved. What an incredible year she’s had playing Queen Elizabeth I in a kick-ass HBO mini-series, for which she won an Emmy, and Queen Elizabeth II on the big screen. But her best performance was in the finale of her long-running PBS series, ‘Prime Suspect.’ Queen Helen will be sorely missed, but something tells me we’ve not seen the last of her. Yes ma’am, you are “the bloody Queen!”

Jennifer Hudson is another winner and her performance at The Academy Awards and Oscar for Best Supporting Actress has shot her up to being the reigning queen of American Idols. If Chris Daughtry and Clay Gaiken (oops – there I go channeling Kathy Griffin – love her but that is another story) Aiken weren’t proof enough that the best talent gets voted off the show, look no further. The girl won an Oscar, there is no better for a performer!

Speaking of American idols, I was quite pleasantly surprise to see Celine Dion perform! I haven’t seen her in a few years, but she is a favorite and all day I had been playing her CDs for some reason and was remembering the year she performed ‘My Heart Will Go On’ at the Oscar and nearly lost a priceless necklace when she slapped herself! She’s still got it. I’m glad her Las Vegas show is ending though. All the fuss going on behind her does not suit her. She is a performer who has no rival and I want to see her to see and hear HER, not all the other distracting stuff.

A performer who only needs a guitar and doesn’t need the circus act is Melissa Etheridge. I adore her deep, raspy sound and was jumping out my seat when she won. I thought for sure the Oscar would go to ‘Dreamgirls.’ How awesome was that! What a trooper Melissa is and now at the top of the heap.

To see Melissa Etheridge and Helen Mirren win Oscars was well worth the three-and-a-half hours I sat rootching in the big chair.

He’s a Survivor

The J.P. Calderon we saw come out on ‘The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency,’ and in the February issue of Instinct magazine, was a much different, humbler man than we saw on last season’s ‘Survivor.’ Is he hot? Hell yes! We saw that in every episode of ‘Survivor,’ but his adorableness wasn’t seen until he revealed his true self to us on Oxygen.

It’s not really a surprise that he’s gay, but what is a surprise is how some have been critical of his coming out. Okay, I’m the first to admit that I co-wrote the book on bitchy, opinionated queens, but everybody is different. Given the same circumstances, each person will deal differently. Should we not admire and respect those who have the balls to put themselves out there, opening themsevles up to the world rather than admonish them?

I suppose I have a lot in common with him and found his story to be very moving. He was clearly struggling with the decision that had to be made in an instant – whether to reinforce or shed the facade he had built up to protect himself. When you don’t like yourself, everything is augmented – how you think other people perceive you, how you interact with other people and basically obsessing over everything involved with interacting with others and the resolve to keep the walls up and the facade going of who you think others think you should be.

We all should have such courage and fortitude. WTG J.P., you d’man!

Stuck Between Brad and CT

Okay, admit it guys! Who would not want to have their way with one of these big, strong, fine specimens of man? Who would you choose? Hell, why choose! In some situations three is not a crowd, and this is one of those rare occurrences. CT and his huge hairy body (though he’s shaved here) and Brad with that puppy dog smile and his sizable endowment, which he bluntly told his roommates on ‘The Real World’ he possesses… ah one can only dream…

N.B. Though I think TC is still hot, he has proven to be a real ass over the years. Give me his body, but you can keep his personality.

Dante’s Cove

Where the hell did this gem come from? From Here! it seems! Unfortunately, it is just a reminder of what I’m missing since my cable system doesn’t carry it (or any other gay-only channel). Granted, the show is uber campy and sometimes over-the-top, but that’s also what made ‘Dark Shadows’ the popular classic that it has become.

And yes, what they say is true, ‘Dante’s Cove’ is a delicious mix of a gay ‘Dark Shadows’ and ‘Melrose Place.’ Both happen to be favorites and so I was anxious to see season one of ‘Dante’s Cove’ and it did not disappoint. The DVD seemed to mysteriously get stuck on the shower scene and repeated it over and over and over.

Who cannot help but get swept up in Kevin and Toby’s relationship and their perils. It will never replace ‘Queer As Folk,’ but it does fill the void it left behind. But we need more… more… more!!!

David Bromstad: Design Star

This hot, quirky, steamy good looking, chatty, often shirtless, gifted designer and artist with a cool tattoo was named HGTV’s design star and landed his own show on the network! Design show hosts don’t usually parade around shirtless, but he does and when asked why, he said he sweats when he works and being from Miami, prefers to be sans shirt. Fine by me! Let’s hope we see more of the same when David Bromstad’s show debuts in Spring 2007. Word has it that HGTV has another short-run reality show in the works following David and his rise from designer to design star.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Doctor Who Goes Gay

Be still my heart! In the season finale of ‘Doctor Who’ Captain Jack planted a full on mouth-to-mouth kiss on The Doctor! Not only is Eccleston’s Doctor the hottest in the 40+ year history of the show, but to have an openly bi companion who flirts just as easily with women as with men is just about more than any queer fan could’ve hoped for. Too bad that he got left behind in the last episode of the season, but John Barrowman as Captain Jack is getting his own show ‘Torchwood’ being produced by the man who created him — none other than Russell T. Davies, the mastermind behind the original British ‘Queer As Folk.’

Dreaming of Dreamboats

Every so often a hunky celebrity pops up in my dreams. Austin Peck and Landon from ‘The Real World’ have been recent visitors and are both hot kissers!