Well, we all know there is no separating Brian and Mikey and so Michael lied to David, telling him Debbie was sick and that he was going to spend the night at her house so he could go and see Brian. He brought Brian more food than two men could eat in a week! That is definitely an Italian thing, as Michael pointed out when Brian said the thing he remember most about growing up and being at Deb’s was all the food. Brian was also considering selling the loft, but to Michael that was unacceptable – it’s his home! How can you get rid of your home? They joked about Dave being Mikey’s sugar daddy and that maybe Brian needed to get one of his own and Mikey explained how he had to lie in order to see him. Brian told Michael that he really didn’t do what he was being accused of, and Michael said he never had any doubts.

As they continued to reminisce about growing up, they talked about the band they once tried to start. One thing led to another and they ended up at Woody’s on open mike night. Meanwhile, David showed up at Debbie’s with chicken soup and found out that Michael lied as Debbie herself, along with Vic, were on their way out for a night on the town. David eventually tracked Michael down and found him with Brian at Woody’s performing and… kissing. Note to Dr. Dave… don’t come between Michael and Brian, you will never win… and side note to Michael and Brian… dudes, keep your day jobs! A friendship like theirs will always continue to stand the test of time and whatever else fate throws in the way. The next day David called Michael on his white lie and told him they may have to rethink things. Seems David needs to have total control over who Michael spends his time with.

Brian butted in yet again and showed up at Dr. Dave’s office, because he had an uhm… pain in his ass. He told him to lay off Mikey and that Mikey IS his business just as he is Brian’s. David said Brian is the one that’s on his way out of Michael’s life, but Brian let it be known that that is not how Dr. Dave will keep Michael, that’s the sure way for him to lose him. David surprisingly took Brian’s words to heart and finally came to his senses, realizing that Brian is a part of Michael’s life and it was unfair of him to keep them apart. But when push came to shove and given the freedom to choose – a night out with Brian at Babylon – Michael chose to stay home with David.

Kip tried to apologize to Brian for the lawsuit, but made it out like he was only trying to protect himself because he thought that he had to have sex with Brian or else be fired. Uh huh. Seems to me that he was the one that made the first move and Brian blew him off. The coy innocent routine didn’t work with Brian. He turned to Mel for legal expertise and she felt that for once Brian’s promiscuity is working in his favor since it proves he didn’t have to force a coworker to have sex with him in order to get laid. She told him she was happy to help because she liked the idea of him being indebted to her for the rest of his life. Lindsay showed up and you could cut the tension with a knife. Lindsay is still nursing her wounds from Mel’s affair, but it’s apparent that they are missing one another. Lindsay was having money problems and Brian offered to help her out. She was shocked that Brian turned to Mel for help and even more so that he sided with her and told Lindz she needs to just give in and beg Mel to come home. It’s quite ironic since Brian has made an art form out of trying to incite Mel and eradicate her from their lives.

Justin decided to take matters into his own hands and see what he could do help Brian. He spotted Kip at Woody’s and approached him. Seems he got Kip into a compromising position, actually down on his knees pulling Justin’s shorts off and fondling him. At that Justin said he needs to hurry so can get home… he’s only 17 and has a curfew! He let it slip that his father would go psycho and would call the police if he caught them together. Kip backed off and Justin said, “But he’d never find out, that is unless I told him.” The next day Mel and Brian were waiting to do battle and suddenly without any fanfare, the lawsuit was dropped and forgotten about. Business returned to normal for Brian and fortunately for him, Justin turns 18 tomorrow!

While Brian’s troubles are behind him, Ted can’t stop lamenting Emmett. Everything he does or thinks of reminds him of Em, just as everything reminds Mel of Lindsay. Mel and Ted went to the movies together and ran into Emmett and his “date,” Heather. They met at See the Light and are working on a successful conversion from-gay-to-straight story for their group so they are trying straight dating. They even tried to have sex but the only way they could get through it was to fantasize about the perfect man and woman. But neither was able to think about a straight encounter. Mel was infuriated when Heather asked them if they wanted to “double” and then apologized for thinking they were “normal.” Ted told Mel that Em has “seen the light,” and she rightly asked Em, “Where are they shining it, up your ass?” Ted wanted to get together with him, but Em said sure, but only if he wanted to see the light.

Ted and Michael decided to show up at See the Light to try and convince Emmett that they still love him and that they will miss him. Ted made an impassioned speech to him saying that God appreciates him just the way he was because he created him in his image. And since He doesn’t make any mistakes Em must be just the way God wanted him to be and that everything and everyone is exactly as God chose them to be and that he loves us all no matter who or what we are. And such truer words were never spoken. It didn’t seem to make any difference on the surface, but you could see Ted’s words swirling around in Emmett’s head… and Heather’s too as she had overhead the conversation. At Babylon, Ted and Mel were hanging out at the bar, still lamenting Em. Suddenly, Em and Heather show up and declared they have really “seen the light!” They really did and realized they are who they should be and that God does love them just the way they are… gay. The group agreed God loved them but promptly asked them to leave. And so Emmett is back with a flame brighter than ever. The two off them, along with Mel and Heather, danced off into the thumpa thumpa of Babylon.

A new upstart at Brian’s agency made himself known. He’s young, hot, and what do you know? He has good ideas and so Brian pulled him in on a senior brainstorming session for a new ad campaign. But Kip targeted Brian for a higher purpose and propositioned him and moved in for the kill. But Brian turned him down – if you can believe it – only minutes later to say that HE (Brian) always makes the first move and so they end up having hot sex in Brian’s office. Later, Brian regaled Mikey with his latest conquest. Michael warned him about having sex at work and Brian was shocked that there was no such activity going on at the Big Q. Michael said of course not. But Brian insisted there was once one Christmas and then poor Michael thought Brian had committed the ultimate sacrilege and fucking Santa! Alas, not, but one of Santa’s elves. Mickey warned him to be careful because he was treading into dangerous territory, and thus another note to Brian – do NOT have sex in the workplace! It will only lead to trouble.

And trouble did it ever. Seems Kip, raging high at Babylon, pulled Brian aside and told him that because they are both gay, Brian will have to have him promoted because queers have to look out for one another. Brian gave him a lecture on mix drugs and alcohol but never suggested him for the promotion. When the job went to somebody else, Kip got pissed and socked Brian and the agency with a sexual harassment law suit.

Trouble continued to brew for Melanie and Lindsay as they hosted a baby shower for another couple. They tried to put on a happy face, which Lindsay pulled off as the ever bright and cheery hostess, but Mel couldn’t conjure up the façade and stayed in the background. She hooked up with one of the guests whom she had never met before and they instantly hit it off and chatted away. Later, Mel let Lindz know that she is growing weary of working extra so she can stay home with the baby and they bickered about the illusion of being the perfect role models and left the house. At a bar she hooked up with Marianne, whom earlier at the shower seemed to be someone she could finally talk to and let it all hang out with and eventually they ended up back at her place.

As Mel came home you could feel her guilt as she made her way into hers and Lindz’ bedroom. Lindsay was worried because it was so late and Mel had never phoned to say where she was and when, or if, she was coming home. They showed up separately at the hospital when they went to pay a visit to the new mothers for whom they had the shower for. They reminisced about how wonderful things were the night Gus was born and how they got to this point. Lindsay agreed that they had their share of problems, but she seemed to be thinking now that they were not insurmountable and suggested that maybe Mel was right and they should talk to someone to help them work through their problems. But Mel was distant and in the hall outside of the room, she confessed her one night stand. Lindsay was shocked and taken aback and just left. Mel moved out and went to stay with her cousin. Adding insult to injury, it’s a cousin who swore that Mel and Lindz would never make it as a couple.

Emmett and Matt went for coffee one night and he told Em that he used to be a drag queen until he “saw the light” and the same thing could happen to him too but some people may want to lead him towards corruption and deviance from seeing the light. Thinking this is the path he should follow, he decided to clean house and threw out all of his gay trinkets. He began to act standoffish with Michael and Ted and when they asked him what was up, he said he’ll be “straight” with them, to which they giggled. Em, straight! He told them it was time for him to explore the part of himself that wasn’t gay. Whoa! What part would that be? And that is the same sentiment Ted and Michael expressed.

He told them about the group he joined that is helping him find his way back to his “true“ self because his gay self is only who he has allowed himself to become. Michael proclaimed it to be bullshit because he already is his true self. I guess the theme for TV tonight was gay conversion! Coincidentally, I’m in the processing of watching season one of ‘Desperate Housewives’ (I didn’t catch it when it started to air last season) and tonight I saw the episode in which Bree invited her minister over to persuade her son Andrew that he isn’t gay! Ted took quite a different route from Bree’s and decided to pay a gay porn star to show up at Em’s apartment and bring him back to his senses, but it backfired. Emmett thanked Ted for the eye opening experience that proved to him that he can resist any temptation, even the gay porn star of his dreams show up and ready for action. They ended up just talking. Ted was pissed because he paid Zach O’Tool to give Emmett a night he’ll never forget. Em said the group told him that his friends may go to extremes to try and prevent him from seeing the light and so he told Michael and Ted that it was time to get away and no longer associate with them.

Michael packs up his stuff and moves in with David but his things don’t seem to be in keeping with David’s style of décor. David, who apparently has a place for everything and everything in its place, says to Mikey this is his place too and to put his stuff wherever he likes. And so early Saturday morning before he even gets dressed for the day, Michael, shirtless, hot, and cute as could be, strategically and with great pride positions his stuff here and there and, well, everywhere to be honest. David is shocked and tries to blow it off and says he wants to spend the day hanging around the house watching “the game,” but Michael had to work. David was puzzled but Mikey was never into that sort of thing or doing stuff on Saturdays because that was the day all his friends had spent time doing things with their fathers, and since he grew up without a dad, he dreaded that day. Here again is a spot where real life crosses with fiction as I identify strongly with Michael in this circumstance. My dad died when I was very young and so I had much the same experience as Michael did and my mom would work on weekends a lot of the time too. I’m certainly not a “watch the game” kind of guy. Interestingly, what I remember most about my dad is working in the yard and around the house. You have to wonder if history does repeat itself as I find myself now in my thirties invariably spending my Saturdays working in the garden and doing stuff around the house.

Michael went off to work and the staff was gathering outside of the Big Q as Marley regaled them with tasteless gay jokes. But Tracey wasn’t laughing and Michael brushed it off by saying he wasn’t listening, but you could see the hurt in his face, and Tracey picked up on it. She spoke up and told Marley off by so much as saying that people who make fun of other people for being different are ignorant and cruel. Despite that, she still gave Michael her notice. He said that he had hoped she wasn’t leaving because of him being gay. She said, not entirely, but that she felt used and thought that they were friends and that they could trust one another. And as is the case so much of the time when dealing with such issues, Michael told her that when you spend your whole life keeping who you are a secret you learn to stop trusting people and that is so true. They did end up parting amicably and taking a stab at being friends.

When he got home from work, Michael found out that Dr. Dave had been doing more than just sitting around watching the game! All of Michael’s stuff had been taken down and was nowhere to be seen. It seems that gay superhero Capt. Astro was pushed back into the closet, quite literally, as Michael found his silhouette shoved behind the coats in the closet! David made a big boo-boo and said that Mikey’s toys were cute, but they just didn’t belong because the house is “architectural.” And so that made Michael feel like he didn’t belong because those things are his treasures and are what he identifies with just as much as David’s perfectly placed architectural accouterments express him. How hurtful. After a lifetime of feeling you don’t belong because of your sexual orientation to finally find a partner to settle down with and then you’re slapped in the face with the same expression of not fitting in.

Mel and Lindz are having their share of weekend problems too. Mel accused Lindsay of shutting her out and feeling alone but Lindz doesn’t want to talk and all Melanie wants to do is talk. She suggests they go to a therapist to try and work out their difficulties. As they were in the midst of cleaning the house, Brian shows up for dinner… at 2PM in the afternoon. He had nothing to do and so he just came over to hang out. He spent the afternoon trying to justify why he and Michael should stay separated while they and the boys have tried everything to push them back together. Mel got so pissed with Brian just hanging around that she enlisted Ted to get him out of their house. Lindsay finally did talk, but it was to Brain, yet another crux of their problems. She thinks a big part of their problems are that Gus was to be hers and Mel’s, but since Brian wouldn’t give up parental rights, Mel is feeling left out and alienated. Lindz isn’t even sure what she wants, but is afraid to talk for fear of what she will say.

When Lindsay finally gives in and starts talking to Mel, what came out was shocking. Lindsay is of the mind that Mel expects too much. Too much of her, jealous of the time she spends with the baby, and that if Lindz is tired and ignores Mel, they have a problem, that Brian didn’t give up paternal rights, and that Lindz can have children, but Mel can’t. Lindsay said that she feels like she spends her life apologizing and wonders if anything could ever be enough for Mel.

Emmett is entering into a crisis, post HIV test. A hottie came up to him in the gym and asked him out but Em turned him down because of his promise to God. At Woody’s another guy came up to him and they started to talk. He said that Em should see the light and takes him to a meeting – a meeting that convinces people they really aren’t gay. How ironic that the poster children for the group are gayer than anyone. And so as recovering queers step up to explain their stories and how they have all “seen the light,” Emmett takes a stand and says that he wants to see the light too. Scared to death of death and of becoming sick, he takes the only course of action that he thinks there is. Seeing his HIV scare as warning, and his promise to never have sex with a man again, he does the impossible, to try and convince himself that he isn’t gay.

Still reeling from the break up, Brian actually invited Justin to come over – another monumental Kinney moment – but Justin knew it was only because he was missing Michael. So Daphne and Justin put their heads together and decided Justin needed to get them back together. He tracked Michael down at the comic book store, finding him only because Brian knew where to look. Justin bought the first edition of Captain Astro with him that Brian gave Michael for his birthday and told him how miserable Brian has been and that he really does love Michael. Michael aptly pointed out that Brian doesn’t believe in love, but Justin agreed but adding that Mikey is the exception to the rule. He spilled the beans of how Brian purposely outed him to Tracey to drive him away so he wouldn’t spend his life following Brian around hoping that somehow, someday, there might be something between them. He did it for Michael so that he could get on with his life and try and see what he might have with David.

And so later on at Babylon as the thumpa thumpa beats on and bare-chested guys undulate around him, Brian is having a bad case of the doldrums. He turns and there stands Michael grinning sheepishly. He tells Brian he’s been drinking too much and thanked him for the “birthday present,” saying it was unique. Brian thought so too. Mikey asked him to dance and as they talked, Brian lied and said he hadn’t even thought about how weird it was not talking for so long. Not interested at all, Brian asked how he and the doc were. Mikey sort is disillusioned by the happenings back home said that no one knows him better than Brian and Brian added and “knows that on one special day in 1970 Capt. Astro became Astro Woman.” Later when Michael went back home, he found David had put all his collectibles back around the house and Dr. Dave was sitting on the sofa reading an issue of Captain Astro. David said to Michael, “Did you know that one special day in 1970…”

Michael was trying to look on the bright side of his break up with David, but in reality was lamenting it – and turning 30. It is a milestone but he wanted it to go by unnoticed. The gang at the Big Q gave him a little surprise party in the back room but he came home himming and hawing about it and changed his mind about going out with Ted and Emmett to celebrate. Ted got fed up with him and spilled the beans… Brain planned a surprise party for him… one he would never forget.

Debbie had a heart to heart with Brian about his interference with Michael and David’s relationship. Brian told Deb that Mikey just wasn’t having any fun. And she aptly pointed out that he’s had enough fun – they’ve all had enough and its time to grow up. She knew from the day Michael first met Brian he was gonna be trouble and he didn’t disappoint her one day since. She demanded that Brian owes Michael something; he owes him at chance and having a relationship and a life that doesn’t revolve around him. So Brian decided he will do something – he’ll through Michael a birthday party. Debbie was bewildered at the response but didn’t pursue it, the wise woman that she is.

The party was sure full of surprises. Brian invited David to the party but continued his pissing contest with him. David bought Michael an exquisite and expensive watch that was engraved, which Michael was extremely pleased with, that is until Brian unveiled his present. Just as he was admiring the watch Brian distracted him and there appeared Captain Astro bearing the very first edition of the comic of same name, a very expensive and rare find, which blew Michael’s mind and any interest in David or the watch.

Personally, I preferred Emmett’s gift which was an Easy Cake Oven. How right was he when he asked Ted, “Didn’t every gay boy want an Easy Cake Oven for his birthday?” YES! And I never got one. But who cares about the oven, I wanted the entire kitchen, stove, sink, and fucking refrigerator. I remember JC Penney had a whole kitchen play set that I was longing for but alas never got. Ted’s gift on the other hand must be listed as the definition of tasteless tackiness. And to think in a future episode, he will have the nerve to call the African fertility god statue Michael bought for them to jointly give Lindz and Mel a piece of shit. Didn’t see this episode? You may be wondering just what sort of gift Ted bought! Let’s play a visualization game, boys and girls. Close your eyes and imagine Mikey in a pair of tightie whities. Now make them red satin. Now imagine an elephant head plastered to his crotch and instead of a comfy pouch to show off his package there’s a long wavy elephant trunk just big enough to… well you get the picture!

Anyway, I would’ve thought Ted could do better than that, after all he did go shopping with Mel, but their choice of store was um, savory to say the least. While shopping, Mel confided in him that things aren’t going all that well for her and Lindsay. Seems Lindz is not interested these days and is growing distant. Ted didn’t want to hear because he said once you start telling your friends your relationship problems, that’s the end of the relationship. At the party Mel let really lose and got a bit too drunk. Debbie, told them they need to enjoy these years while the baby is young because before you can blink, he will be 30.

A few days earlier Ted ran into an old one night stand at the drug store and panicked as he heard him discussing HIV medication with the pharmacist. They didn’t use a condom! As we move through the story more and the characters evolve, we are learning that Ted is less and less the one who seemingly had all his shit together. You never ever let anybody fuck you without a condom, as Brian will also soon tell Justin. Emmett went along with him to the clinic for an HIV test and took one for moral support but he had little concern over it because he was totally distracted by the cutie that took his blood instead. Ted’s test came back fairly quick and he was negative, but they wanted Emmett to come back to the clinic. He panicked that he was positive and it weighed heavily on him all through the party. He took an opportunity to talk to Vic about it. Vic told him that IT doesn’t mean what it used to. It’s not an automatic death sentence and if you did make a mistake, then admit it, accept it and move on. It is the only way to get through it. Em decided to make a pact with God that if He would let him be negative, then he would never touch another man for as long as he lived. So as fate would have it, Emmett did turn out to be negative. The only problem was his check bounced and they wouldn’t give him the results until he paid in cash. But what to do now? The hottie from the clinic asked Em out to celebrate, but because of his pact with God, he had to turn the hot guy down.

As the party was in full swing, the surprise guest showed up. One can easily imagine Michael’s shock and panic when he spots Tracey across the crowded loft. He quickly tries to convince her that he doesn’t know all of these people, for fear his cover will be blown and that everyone at work will found out he’s gay. But it is to no avail as Brian swoops in and forces an introduction. He introduces Tracey to David, Michael’s boyfriend. Tracey was equally shocked and bewildered and looked to Michael for clarity. He finally came clean and said that David had been his boyfriend. With that, David punched Brian in the face and Michael ran out after Tracey. She feels betrayed and used, and rightly so. But you can’t fault Michael for doing what he needed to to protect himself and secure financial security for his family.

Michael and David left the party together and went back to Dr. Dave’s. It finally hit Michael that his future is not clubbing with the boys and following Brian around, but that it is settling down with David and so he finally accepted David’s offer to move in and join their lives together. David was happy but he didn’t want to be the consolation prize now that Brian had betrayed Michael. Michael reassured David that he was in fact first prize. The next morning Debbie showed up at Brian’s loft. While everyone was mystified why Brian would do such a cruel thing to his best friend, she realized it was exactly what Michael needed to force him to move forward with his life, separate from Brian. It hurt Brian just as much to do it, but he did it for Michael’s own good. If he wouldn’t have “pushed him off a cliff” as Debbie called it, he would have followed Brian around forever, not following his own path… wherever that may lead.

On a beautiful autumn day Jennifer’s back yard was filled with mums and pumpkins when Justin surprised his little sister with a beautiful sketch for her birthday. Jennifer talked with Justin about coming home and said that he was welcome. He was willing if only his father would meet him halfway, which was never going to happen and so he left.

But he may actually have been better off staying home because once Brian gets his hands on him his life will never be the same. Seems as though Sunshine didn’t turn the alarm on before he left the loft and Brian’s place was burglarized and all of his Armani suits and designer shoes were stolen. Me oh my, what is a fag to do? Blame the boy of course! Note to Brian: never ever let pretty-faced blond boys in charge of arming your security system. It will never work! Of course none of Justin’s stuff was stolen and the police were of no help considering the continual parade of strange, uhm, “guests” that Brian so frequently entertains so he threw Justin and all his crap out the door. So then what’s the pretty-faced blond boy to do but take his boyfriend’s (who isn’t his boyfriend) credit card and run off to New York to become a go-go boy. Raise your hands, boys and girls, if you think Justin did this knowing full well Brian would track him down, have his way with him and bring him home.

The little ploy worked, well sort of. Debbie berated Brian for throwing him out and made Brian go after him and so Michael, Emmett, and Ted tagged along for the road trip. Brian didn’t listen to Mysterious Marilyn’s warning to check the tires and so they had a blow out on the turnpike. He should’ve after all she was right on three other counts: she got that Ted was an accountant, Justin took Brian’s credit card and ran away to be a go-go boy, and the first three letters of Michael’s true love’s name are B – R – I. Alongside the highway Em’s butch side came out as the other guys stood around pondering what to do as Em dove right in and changed the tired! Brian told Michael that he knows that he can be shitty to him sometimes but that he knows Michael will always love him no matter what and Michael confirmed it and they kissed. Brian told Michael that he loved him to… always have, always will.

Justin left a trail leading right to him and Brian found him and gave him the fucking of his life and drug him home. But not to where Justin thinks! His new living arrangements place him living at Debbie’s, with Jennifer’s consent, but Debbie has her own rules that she is going to impose on Sunshine, starting with no bringing tricks home after midnight!

Michael is still not sure he wants to change his own living arrangements and move in with Dr. Dave. But David’s pressuring is relentless and maybe just a little too intense if you ask me. The topper is when he arranges a brunch for him and Michael with a gay couple who have been together for 50 years. There must be something in the back of Michael’s head telling him not to. But fairy godmother Emmett puts the thought in Mikey’s head that he’s not doing it because Brian wouldn’t approve. And, well, he may be partly right since Michael has really never gotten over his crush on Brian and is just hanging on to any last hope that maybe one day Brian will cave and they will hook up.

After the trip away with the boys to recover Justin, Michael turns David down and tells him he just wants to be boyfriends. But David doesn’t want a boyfriend; he wants a partner and so ends the relationship – all or nothing it seems. Hmm… perhaps the good doctor doesn’t know the word compromise? But then you’re left with the nagging thought that if David really does love Michael, wouldn’t he want to do something to make Michael happy and not isolate him from his friends and the life he knows and find some way to keep him in his life? Makes one wonder…

That wasn’t the case with David’s friends, although they were nice enough, they were very pretentious and I dare say even stuck up when Michael told them he was the manager at a Big Q. I suppose they expected him to be manager of Macy’s or something. Personally, I’m a Wal-Mart man myself. Michael had a feeling all evening he knew one of the guests but couldn’t figure out how. Then it came to him and he blurted out that he knew him from The White Party and that the dude gave him crabs. Everyone looked horrified, but I think they all deserved to hear some frankness. Later, Michael figured he f—- up royally and that David was gonna dump him, but surprise, the doctor asked him to move in!

Emmett certainly has no trouble being frank about what he wants when he is online in the guise of his screen name, PITTS9X6. I think it was the night for cyber sex! Earlier in the evening I had watched ‘Closer’ with Jude Law, Clive Owen, Julia Roberts, and Natalie Portman and Jude and Clive were going at it in a chat room. Too bad Jude was pretending to be Julia. One can only wish. ::SIGH:: Emmett freaked out when his online trick wanted to hook up in the real world and when he went to delete his screen name, the moniker suddenly took human form in the body of a hot shirtless hunk. Em’s been using Pitts to express his repressed sexual desires and fantasies. When presented with the possibility of meeting someone, Emmett, wavered but Pitts said, “I had to come from somewhere, didn’t I?” And he did, he was a part of Emmett and with Pitts’ help, Emmett was able to bring out his inner sexual being and mad the hook-up. To his surprise, the other guy was in a similar situation and Em got a good boost to his confidence.

For the first time, Justin is truly separated from his family and starting to feel the emotional toll of being disconnected and continues to hope that his father will come round and accept him for who he is. Brain knows that will never happen and tries to persuade Justin that it’s not worth the anguish. Brian knows a thing or two about the tumultuous relationships of fathers and sons. His own father is a useless drunk and not five minutes after Brian went to see him at a dive of a bar to give him one more chance, he hit Brian up for money and asked him to stay and have a drink, which he had to pay for as well. Brian asked why he had kids if he knew he wasn’t the marrying kind and a family man. Though it wasn’t verbalized, Brian got the picture all too clearly of what Jack Kinney was getting at. The encounter and relationship strikes very close to home as my own father was heavy on the booze and although not physically abusive, there were close occasions of trying to break doors down, throwing glasses of whiskey and calling me a “bawl ass.” Granted, I would cry at the drop of a hat, but it was hurtful and scarring to a young child. My brother, even into adulthood, continues to find something amusing about it, though I do not, and I still get teased by him with that nickname every once in awhile.

After his encounter with his father, Brian turned to the one person who could comfort him. Michael knew right away that Brian had once again tried to mend fences with his father, hoping that he would change somehow. It never will happen, Michael reminded him as he cried himself to sleep in Michael’s arms.

My poor little queer boy eyes saw more than they ever imagined they could when Mel appeared full frontally nude in probably the steamiest lesbian sex scene to be on TV. I adore Melanie and Lindsay and there is no question that Michelle and Thea are beautiful women. The scene was played flawlessly by these two magnificent actresses and deepened your concept and appreciation of the relationship and love between these two characters. If I were a straight man, I probably would’ve been drooling, but alas I’m not and if ever I doubted being gay, my queerness was reaffirmed.

We saw yet another side of Melanie as well when Gus took sick and had to be rushed to the hospital – a caring and compassionate mother. They wouldn’t let her go into the examining room with Lindsay and the baby because she had no legal rights. When they tried to explain their relationship, there was a clear sense of discrimination and the nurse at the desk was curt and huffy calling Mel, “Miss or whatever you are.” Brain came in and in a surprise twist, he stuck up for Mel and fought for her to be allowed in, but in the end, they would only let Brian go through. Afterwards, Mel and Lindz realized that they needed more of a legal standing and asked Brian to sign over his parental rights to Mel. He was all too eager to do so in the beginning, but after weighing his relationship with his own father, Justin’s with his, Michael without his, and his own concern for his son’s well being, decided that there was no choice. He could not give up his legal rights as a father.

There’s a promotion going at the Big Q and so he decided to stick
himself in the pool for the job. The manager was surprised, but pleased
that he stepped up and invited him to an office party and to bring his…
lady. His lady? I’m sure he thought how weird is that? How hetero.
Waiting in the wings was Tracy and so Michael asked her to go with him.
She was excited and kissed him on the lips. Despite David’s disapproval
of Michael using Tracy, he’s doing the only thing he can at this point
without sacrificing his current job and only means of support and his
only way of helping his mom. It’s okay for David to criticize because
he’s a successful doctor with his own practice and doesn’t rely on the
straight business world for his paycheck or worry about making ends
meet, or worry for being found out. Again we see just how far apart the
worlds are that these two men come from.

And now there is a rumor going around the store about Michael, or so
one of the other candidates for the promotion made him believe. Knowing
how other suspected gay people have fared in that business made him
even more determined to keep his sexuality private and the charade up.
That is something a lot of us can relate to. It is inevitable in a
world where people who are different become marginalized by strangers,
friends, and even family, that it would hit you in the workplace as
well and the level to which you can aspire in certain
professions.

Fortunately for Brian, he doesn’t have those concerns or make a secret
of who he is and still racks up the conquests, business and otherwise!
But when Michael does get the promotion and feels guilty about living a
lie, Brian reaffirms, “It’s not lying if they make you lie.” Brian
isn’t beyond pulling off an odd straight charade himself from time to
time. It seems as though he needed “family” in tow to get a deal on a
car and so drug Lindz and Gus along to pose as the perfect happy
family. He honed right in on the one he wanted but the dealer tried to
dissuade him from it saying that, “Fags are drawn to it and you really
want something else.” Brian stood his ground though and asked to take
it for a test drive – a test drive right through the display window
after which he promptly said, “We’ll take it.”

Jennifer unexpectedly showed up at Brian’s office and despoted Justin’s
belongings on Brian’s desk and gave him instructions on Justin’s care
and money for his upkeep, which he refused. Brian took the gear home
only to find Justin had already completely invaded his space. Having
enough of it, Brian drug Justin back to the Taylor house and tried to
mend fences. But Craig put many conditions on his son’s return home,
conditions of intolerance and bigotry. When Brian realized that in
order for Justin to live at home he would have to deny who and what he
is, he declared to Mr. Taylor, “That isn’t love. That’s hate,” and
asked Justin if he was coming as he walked out.

Perhaps Brian’s I don’t do relationships mantra he says to himself is wearing out and he is realizing just how much he’s starting to care for and need Justin, just as much as Justin cares for and needs him. When we hear Angel Moon’s ‘He’s All I Want’ playing, Brian comes home from work to find Justin had set the table and made dinner… for two, just like they were a real couple. Brian tried to conceal just how nice it may have been to come from work for once and find the person you love waiting for you to have dinner with him, and to share the highs and lows of the day. But wise Justin saw right through that facade Brian projects to the world and smiled to himself as they ate.

David takes Michael to the cabin he built and stumbles on a picture of
David with a woman… his wife. He explained to Michael how he thought he
could force himself to be straight, but denying who he really was ate
him up. How many of us have had similar experiences in our lives where
we tried to deny that part of who we are? There was a part of my life
in my later teens and early twenties where I tried to. I had many
excuses and rationalizations for being interested in men and forced
myself to be straight and imagine myself living the straight life with
wife, kids, and the trimmings. But it wasn’t me, and ultimately, after
much turmoil, I accepted that I was different. Yes, I want the same
things – family and trimmings, etc., but I’d rather a husband than a
wife!

I was a little surprised to find out that Jennifer had broken her
promise to Justin and told her husband that their son is gay. And as is
too often the case, dear old dad did not react well to the news. My own
dad died when I was very young so I can only surmise how he might have
reacted. As I have thought about it over the years, it usually comes up
to a very similar experience. Gay people were not even mentioned in my
house, but knowing he was a man’s man (no not that kind!) and his
opinion on people who were different (black people and foreigners in
particular) it really isn’t hard to imagine that it would not have gone
at all well.

Justin decided to get a nipple ring and as a result also began to be
harassed at school for being queer. I think we all know something about
this too. Although in my case, that would have involved kids actually
acknowledging I existed, which for the most part I was completely
ignored. There was a boy I knew in elementary school who even once
excitedly wanted me to be his desk partner in a room where the desks
were in pairs. I was happy that teacher agreed because we got along
really well. In middle school I didn’t see much of him because he
hooked up with a girl and they were a big item. But in high school, the
girl was gone and when he would run into me in the halls he moved in
very close and grabbed my chest and give me a squeeze. My drug of
choice was food and so I was overweight and had man boobs going on in
high school. I hated it. I hated him. I hated the experience of running
into him. I felt it to be abusive and harassing but how do you explain
this to a teacher, when they themselves were not that invested in the
emotional well being of the odd kids and kids that were not honor
students or jocks. Years later I don’t know if it was harassment,
teasing and his way of getting a cheap thrill at my expense, or if he
was in some way trying to tell me something else. Maybe he was queer
too? He was always a good kid and always nice to me before that and if
I were to have chosen, if circumstances might’ve been different, who
would’ve been a friend to cross the line from child to adulthood, it
would’ve been him. But he changed a lot during middle school so I was
never really sure what to make of it.

Interestingly, when I was looking at a photo of Gale Harold just after
‘Queer As Folk’ began, I racked my brain trying to figure out who the
hell he reminded me of… something with his hair… around the eyes…
eyebrows… the shape of his face… something. It wasn’t until I got a
call about the 100th anniversary of my elementary school when they were
trying to put together a list of classes that existed the last year the
school was open because the records were not intact. I had to
reconstruct my elementary school class from memory and got all of them
but one, whom I had a total mental block on. When the secretary called
me back to say they finally figured out who everybody was I asked who
the kid I couldn’t think of was. I was flabbergasted when I heard his
name. It was the boy that was a good friend and whom I sat next to in
elementary school, that later became my tormentor in high school.

Although I never got into a fistfight as Justin did, his dad put all
the blame back on him and slapped him around and decreed that it was
high time for Justin to go away to boarding school to learn some
discipline. Uh huh, oh sure that will work… sending him to a boys-only
boarding school!

Goldilocks Kinney was recuperating from a concussion he got in a hit
and run accident and as everyone was fussing over him with tea that was
too hot, ice that was too cold, and such, Justin realized it was his
father that rammed Brian’s ass… err… make that his car. Brian had
enough of the convalescing and turned it into a dance party just as
Michael and David rushed home early from their trip. Brian had ended a
phone call with Michael earlier that was sure to make him come running
home. But when they found out, that Brian was not at death’s door they
both walked out on him.

Then one night at Babylon, David approached Michael and Brain. Michael
thought the doctor came for him, but it was Brian that he dragged out
onto the dance floor and he called Brian on his game… that he keeps
Michael close, but not too close and yet just close enough to keep
Michael hoping that one day he’ll eventually fuck him. But Brian knows,
and now David does too, that that will never happen. As much as I don’t
care for David, I have to give him credit for having the balls to
confront Brian and tell him that he wants Michael, even more than Brian
doesn’t want him to have Michael.

Lindsay was so impressed with Justin’s artwork that she asked him to
participate in an art show at the Gay & Lesbian center that she and
Mel were organizing. Everyone turned out for Justin’s debut, including
Jennifer, which was a big deal with it being his first art show and
secondly and maybe even more importantly it being in a totally gay
environment. But Justin, although endearing, is still a snotty teenager
and was more interested in Brian showing up than his own mother. Jen
had prepared herself to enter a world that she was totally unfamiliar
with, and perhaps even a little uncomfortable with as well. What she
could not prepare herself for was seeing Justin with Brian and learning
that her teenage son was having sex with a 30 (pardon me, 29) year old
man! Debbie was hanging around in the background eyeing up the whole
affair and realized worlds were about to collide when Jennifer realized
who Justin had been hooking up with. It was Deb to the rescue who sat
Jen down and gave her the skinny on Brian and told her that there
wasn’t anything she could but to let him have the experience and make
his own mistakes and to be there when he needs someone. 

I find Justin and Lindsay fascinating characters, but it’s not only
because they are creative, there’s a charisma imbued in the characters
that draws you in and demands that you get immersed in the lives of
these people, and it’s that way too with all of the regulars on the
show. On the flip side of the coin we have Rodger, Ted’s chorus
director piano player boyfriend that he met at an “over 30″ matchmaker
shindig at the Gay & Lesbian Center. Ted drug Emmett along with him
and he said that there was honestly no one there he wanted to have sex
with. Though the guys were nice enough, Em, I totally agreed with you!
I play the piano too and have done my fair share of the choir thing as
well, but although he was sweet and a nice guy, there was nothing that
drew me into wanting to know Rodger or be involved with him. That is
exactly what Ted picked up on. Even though he was “appropriate” by
Ted’s standards, “appropriate” is not always right. But the
“inappropriate” can sometimes do the “right” things, such as Blake did.
When Ted ran into him at Babylon, he found out that it was Blake that
called 911 the night Ted overdosed.

Not being appropriate is what Brian seems to make a second, (uh no…
that’s sex) make that a third career out of. The second Dr. Dave was
out of Michael’s sight, Brian switched into ass—- mode and hit on
him. It’s interesting to see that as much as Brian tried to cause
trouble for Michael and David, that when Ben entered Michael’s life,
Brian was not so much the troublemaker. Could Brian be picking up on
that “something’s not right” with David and Michael’s relationship that
the viewer senses? That David just wasn’t right for Michael? And he was
doing what he always does – looking out for Mikey’s best interests,
even if it is done in an unorthodox and eccentric way that is only
Brian.

But to David’s credit, he wouldn’t be baited. Michael in his boyish
charm apologized to David for thinking they were out on a date just to
get laid. But later on, it was the good doctor himself that decided
it’s time to go to the next step and uses some of his own creative
nipple techniques on Michael… 13 left… 11 right. Oh my… uh well,
speaking of doctors…

In the original British version of the show the Michael character’s
obsession was with ‘Doctor Who,’ the longest running British sci-fi TV
show. Although it does have a large cult following in the U.S., the
producers felt that it was still too obscure a subject to connect with
and so our Michael has a passion for comic books. It’s really quite
ironic in that I had a huge ‘Doctor Who’ obsession when I was growing
up and well into my teens. More about that later, but it happens that
the only place (outside of a convention) to find ‘Doctor Who’ stuff
such as books, recordings, gadgets, games, etc. was in comic book
stores. So I also spent my fair share of time there too. But what I
don’t remember is the guy behind the counter being so damn hot. I
remember them being mostly older overweight Marley-type women! Of
course he would catch Brian’s eye and naturally he would do all he
could to keep it. When Brian hooked up with him at the end he was
living out a fantasy of mine that never came true. Although our
narcissistic friend seemed more interested in staring at his own naked
likeness, rendered (and over endowed) by Justin, that he bought
anonymously at the art show. Or maybe he was wishing it was Justin
instead of comic store guy whose head he covered with a sheet as he
moved further and further down Brian’s torso. Sigh. Shit! Where was
this dude when I frequented comic book stores twenty years ago?

This is the exact same dilemma the Michael faces in working at the Big
Q. Choosing to eat and live another day is what he’s doing because it
is what’s right for him at this point in his life, even if it means
swallowing your gay pride and working after hours to take inventory of
toilet paper. He was just adorable when he told Tracey of his secret
identity as “Laser Man.” But poor Michael, it only made her all the
more interested in him… just the same it would’ve done to me!

Doctor Dave. No offense to Chris Potter who portrays him, but this was
my least favorite character in the entire series. I can see how Michael
fell for him though – a charming, attractive doctor that suddenly
becomes interested in you – but there was just something off. There was
something that didn’t fit. I felt that way five years ago, but still
rooted for their relationship to succeed anyway. David’s world was all
new to Michael. It was a world of fine dining, wine, relationships, and
dating without sex.

On the opposite side of the scale, Justin has nothing but dick on the
brain as he aptly put it to his shrink in front of his mother. The
shrink seemed more shocked than Jennifer was. I do know that if that
would’ve been me, my mother would’ve drug me by the ear into the
bathroom and washed my mouth out with soap. (I don’t recommend the
experience or its use on children… it is horribly traumatic.) But
that’s what they did when a good catholic boy comes home from the first
day of elementary school and shares the colorful new four-letter words
he learned at recess. Thirty years later I’m still self-conscious even
about PG swearing in front of my mother who doesn’t like bad language.
But on the flipside, the lesson got across – you don’t say fuck in
front of your mother when you are six years old. Who knew?

Jennifer goes looking for Justin but ends up finding Debbie. It seems
that everyone always finds her when they are in need of advice, even in
Jennifer’s case when she had no clue that Debbie is who you go to. She
just attracts people with some sort of metaphysical power it seems. And
too right that is. She always has the best advice, though it may be
heavily peppered with some of that bad colorful language! Jen did take
Debbie’s advice and extended the olive branch to Justin, by saying,
“Don’t run from me because I’m not running from you.” However, in
Brian-esque fashion, the little snot ditches his mom at the museum to
hook up with a hottie in the men’s room.

It seems like everyone was getting some in this episode! Since Michael got nowhere with Doctor Dave, he too acted like Brain and went to the backroom at Babylon for a blow job. Juxtaposed to that is a complete role reversal for Brian who actually blew, uh hum, an account because
the guy was more willing to get laid then to care about his little girl
breaking her arm. Apparently Brian is not entirely about getting his
dick sucked after all. He had ditched a dinner with Mel and Lindz to
trade sexual favors for a million dollar account, but when push came to
shove he ditched the old guy, sent him packing on a plane and showed up
at Mel and Lindsay’s hours late. Of course Lindsay let him in and as
she was fixing him something to eat he fell asleep on the sofa holding
his son who was lying on his chest.