In this dream, my whole family was on vacation and renting a house by
the shore. But there were a bunch of other people along with us, people
I didn’t know and who were strangers and we were sharing this house. My
sister-in-law’s mother seemed to be running the show and there was
concern over using the bathroom and taking showers, etc. She made up a
schedule and was instructing everyone and told me I was first, which
would make my time in the bathroom the middle of the afternoon, I
protested and she said ok then you come with me to…. somewhere I
can’t remember but something to do with her dogs and so I fixed my hair
and went off with her.

Later it seemed as though I was walking around outside of the house
with my shirt off and then was trying to get back in. Inside I was
concerned over the sleeping arrangements. I had been relagated to the
sofa in the living room which meant I had no privacy, couldn’t go to
bed until everyone else in the house went, and so I tried to find spots
for privacy but the whole house just seemed to overrun with strangers.
I found a little spot up in a turret that was more like a child’s play
space as it was very small but I squeezed in there and soon other
people came into the room it looked over and again I had no privacy.

I seem to recall complaining and someone said to me, “Well you wanted
to be on the ‘Real World’ didn’t you? Well now you are sharing a house
with seven strangers.” Then there was something about doing projects
and getting everybody working on what they were supposed. I think it
was my job…. it seemed to me to be sort of like the project manager
of the teams on Martha Stewart’s Apprentice. I said to my mom something
about even if I wanted to I couldn’t get them to do anything because
they all would go to the beach if it was a nice day out.

This was a continuing dream from one sleep cycle to the next throughout
the entire night, with each phase building and exploring more and
deeper into the dream. Those are the high points that I clearly recall
but I do know there was much more to it.

Much to Michael’s protesting, Emmett tells him that David is his
boyfriend and you only need to look for the tell tale signs that give
it away: he gives you flowers, your mom invites him for dinner, and he
whisks you away for a romantic weekend together. Before Michael
blinked, all three happened. Debbie saw them having dinner at the diner
and found out that Michael is dating a doctor and promptly insisted he
comes for dinner. Then David gives Michael flowers on the big night
when he picks him up to go over to Deb’s house. After dinner, Michael
shows David his old bedroom and Doctor Dave asks him to go the country
for the weekend. He was speechless but Debbie was not as she bellowed
from the other room that he better say yes!

David takes Michael to the cabin he built and stumbles on a picture of
David with a woman… his wife. He explained to Michael how he thought he
could force himself to be straight, but denying who he really was ate
him up. How many of us have had similar experiences in our lives where
we tried to deny that part of who we are? There was a part of my life
in my later teens and early twenties where I tried to. I had many
excuses and rationalizations for being interested in men and forced
myself to be straight and imagine myself living the straight life with
wife, kids, and the trimmings. But it wasn’t me, and ultimately, after
much turmoil, I accepted that I was different. Yes, I want the same
things – family and trimmings, etc., but I’d rather a husband than a
wife!

I was a little surprised to find out that Jennifer had broken her
promise to Justin and told her husband that their son is gay. And as is
too often the case, dear old dad did not react well to the news. My own
dad died when I was very young so I can only surmise how he might have
reacted. As I have thought about it over the years, it usually comes up
to a very similar experience. Gay people were not even mentioned in my
house, but knowing he was a man’s man (no not that kind!) and his
opinion on people who were different (black people and foreigners in
particular) it really isn’t hard to imagine that it would not have gone
at all well.

Justin decided to get a nipple ring and as a result also began to be
harassed at school for being queer. I think we all know something about
this too. Although in my case, that would have involved kids actually
acknowledging I existed, which for the most part I was completely
ignored. There was a boy I knew in elementary school who even once
excitedly wanted me to be his desk partner in a room where the desks
were in pairs. I was happy that teacher agreed because we got along
really well. In middle school I didn’t see much of him because he
hooked up with a girl and they were a big item. But in high school, the
girl was gone and when he would run into me in the halls he moved in
very close and grabbed my chest and give me a squeeze. My drug of
choice was food and so I was overweight and had man boobs going on in
high school. I hated it. I hated him. I hated the experience of running
into him. I felt it to be abusive and harassing but how do you explain
this to a teacher, when they themselves were not that invested in the
emotional well being of the odd kids and kids that were not honor
students or jocks. Years later I don’t know if it was harassment,
teasing and his way of getting a cheap thrill at my expense, or if he
was in some way trying to tell me something else. Maybe he was queer
too? He was always a good kid and always nice to me before that and if
I were to have chosen, if circumstances might’ve been different, who
would’ve been a friend to cross the line from child to adulthood, it
would’ve been him. But he changed a lot during middle school so I was
never really sure what to make of it.

Interestingly, when I was looking at a photo of Gale Harold just after
‘Queer As Folk’ began, I racked my brain trying to figure out who the
hell he reminded me of… something with his hair… around the eyes…
eyebrows… the shape of his face… something. It wasn’t until I got a
call about the 100th anniversary of my elementary school when they were
trying to put together a list of classes that existed the last year the
school was open because the records were not intact. I had to
reconstruct my elementary school class from memory and got all of them
but one, whom I had a total mental block on. When the secretary called
me back to say they finally figured out who everybody was I asked who
the kid I couldn’t think of was. I was flabbergasted when I heard his
name. It was the boy that was a good friend and whom I sat next to in
elementary school, that later became my tormentor in high school.

Although I never got into a fistfight as Justin did, his dad put all
the blame back on him and slapped him around and decreed that it was
high time for Justin to go away to boarding school to learn some
discipline. Uh huh, oh sure that will work… sending him to a boys-only
boarding school!

Goldilocks Kinney was recuperating from a concussion he got in a hit
and run accident and as everyone was fussing over him with tea that was
too hot, ice that was too cold, and such, Justin realized it was his
father that rammed Brian’s ass… err… make that his car. Brian had
enough of the convalescing and turned it into a dance party just as
Michael and David rushed home early from their trip. Brian had ended a
phone call with Michael earlier that was sure to make him come running
home. But when they found out, that Brian was not at death’s door they
both walked out on him.

Then one night at Babylon, David approached Michael and Brain. Michael
thought the doctor came for him, but it was Brian that he dragged out
onto the dance floor and he called Brian on his game… that he keeps
Michael close, but not too close and yet just close enough to keep
Michael hoping that one day he’ll eventually fuck him. But Brian knows,
and now David does too, that that will never happen. As much as I don’t
care for David, I have to give him credit for having the balls to
confront Brian and tell him that he wants Michael, even more than Brian
doesn’t want him to have Michael.

‘Docto Who,’ a series about an eccentric alien who travels around the universe along with a myriad of companions in a time machine shaped like a British police telephone box debuted in Britain in 1963 and continued
in regular production through into the early 90s. It was regular fare
on PBS stations throughout the 80s. There was a U.S. movie version with
series option produced for Fox in the late 90s but the Americanization
of it tanked, unlike ‘Queer As Folk’ which attained huge success as an
American adaptation. The show left British airwaves but continued in
book and radio show forms. Last year, the BBC reinvented it as a
splashy new Sci-Fi series relying heavily on the history and mythos of
the legendary Timelord known as “The Doctor,” but less on the camp that
the show was known for during the course of its run. From what I
understand, its comeback and stronghold is akin to that of Sci-Fi
Channel’s ‘Battlestar Galactica.’ Since the show has run for so long, a
number of actors have played the title role over the years.

I met several of the actors from the show at conventions and recall one
meeting vividly. I once saw Colin Baker (the sixth actor to play The
Doctor) in a cabaret. I had an aisle seat and in part of the show he
came in from the back and made his way down along the aisle bantering
with other actors on the stage. Sitting in the row in front of me and a
few seats in was a girl who was just obsessed with him. She had brought
a red rose with her to give him and since he stopped to do his thing
and sat down on the steps right next to me, she passed her rose to me
to give him. I held it out, he looked at it but ignored it (well of
course, he was performing). I was sort of glad. Even at 17 I felt that
it was imposing of this girl to hand it over and expect someone else to
hand it to him while he was performing. So I passed it back over to
her. Shortly thereafter he was laughing in response to something from
the stage and patted me on the shoulder and belly-laughed leaning into
and on me. I was in heaven and thought I will never wash this shirt
again!

Anyway, just before he got up and moved on, there was something in his
dialog with an actress on the stage that referred to someone being gay
and he shouted back to her, “He was gay!” Now I wanted to sink into the
floor. I was not out. I did not even admit to myself that I was gay at
that point and… I was with my mother. At the end of the show when they
all came out for a bow to a standing ovation, the girl threw the rose
up on the stage. He ran over, picked it up and put it between his teeth
and looked up at me with a big grin… now I really wanted to sink into
the floor! And that was my close encounter with The Doctor!

Well of course it would make perfect sense that Mel and Lindz would
instantly fall in love with Justin! He has that quality that just
automatically endears you to him. Justin and Lindsay are both artists
which gave them a connection right off the bat. Art has a habit of
doing that. I’m artsy too and find I’m automatically drawn to that type
of creative eccentric personality. This is just another point to rack
up that ‘Queer As Folk’ is indeed representational of many people,
despite some early critics’ nay-saying. Not that we’re keeping track or
anything!

Lindsay was so impressed with Justin’s artwork that she asked him to
participate in an art show at the Gay & Lesbian center that she and
Mel were organizing. Everyone turned out for Justin’s debut, including
Jennifer, which was a big deal with it being his first art show and
secondly and maybe even more importantly it being in a totally gay
environment. But Justin, although endearing, is still a snotty teenager
and was more interested in Brian showing up than his own mother. Jen
had prepared herself to enter a world that she was totally unfamiliar
with, and perhaps even a little uncomfortable with as well. What she
could not prepare herself for was seeing Justin with Brian and learning
that her teenage son was having sex with a 30 (pardon me, 29) year old
man! Debbie was hanging around in the background eyeing up the whole
affair and realized worlds were about to collide when Jennifer realized
who Justin had been hooking up with. It was Deb to the rescue who sat
Jen down and gave her the skinny on Brian and told her that there
wasn’t anything she could but to let him have the experience and make
his own mistakes and to be there when he needs someone. 

I find Justin and Lindsay fascinating characters, but it’s not only
because they are creative, there’s a charisma imbued in the characters
that draws you in and demands that you get immersed in the lives of
these people, and it’s that way too with all of the regulars on the
show. On the flip side of the coin we have Rodger, Ted’s chorus
director piano player boyfriend that he met at an “over 30″ matchmaker
shindig at the Gay & Lesbian Center. Ted drug Emmett along with him
and he said that there was honestly no one there he wanted to have sex
with. Though the guys were nice enough, Em, I totally agreed with you!
I play the piano too and have done my fair share of the choir thing as
well, but although he was sweet and a nice guy, there was nothing that
drew me into wanting to know Rodger or be involved with him. That is
exactly what Ted picked up on. Even though he was “appropriate” by
Ted’s standards, “appropriate” is not always right. But the
“inappropriate” can sometimes do the “right” things, such as Blake did.
When Ted ran into him at Babylon, he found out that it was Blake that
called 911 the night Ted overdosed.

Not being appropriate is what Brian seems to make a second, (uh no…
that’s sex) make that a third career out of. The second Dr. Dave was
out of Michael’s sight, Brian switched into ass—- mode and hit on
him. It’s interesting to see that as much as Brian tried to cause
trouble for Michael and David, that when Ben entered Michael’s life,
Brian was not so much the troublemaker. Could Brian be picking up on
that “something’s not right” with David and Michael’s relationship that
the viewer senses? That David just wasn’t right for Michael? And he was
doing what he always does – looking out for Mikey’s best interests,
even if it is done in an unorthodox and eccentric way that is only
Brian.

But to David’s credit, he wouldn’t be baited. Michael in his boyish
charm apologized to David for thinking they were out on a date just to
get laid. But later on, it was the good doctor himself that decided
it’s time to go to the next step and uses some of his own creative
nipple techniques on Michael… 13 left… 11 right. Oh my… uh well,
speaking of doctors…

In the original British version of the show the Michael character’s
obsession was with ‘Doctor Who,’ the longest running British sci-fi TV
show. Although it does have a large cult following in the U.S., the
producers felt that it was still too obscure a subject to connect with
and so our Michael has a passion for comic books. It’s really quite
ironic in that I had a huge ‘Doctor Who’ obsession when I was growing
up and well into my teens. More about that later, but it happens that
the only place (outside of a convention) to find ‘Doctor Who’ stuff
such as books, recordings, gadgets, games, etc. was in comic book
stores. So I also spent my fair share of time there too. But what I
don’t remember is the guy behind the counter being so damn hot. I
remember them being mostly older overweight Marley-type women! Of
course he would catch Brian’s eye and naturally he would do all he
could to keep it. When Brian hooked up with him at the end he was
living out a fantasy of mine that never came true. Although our
narcissistic friend seemed more interested in staring at his own naked
likeness, rendered (and over endowed) by Justin, that he bought
anonymously at the art show. Or maybe he was wishing it was Justin
instead of comic store guy whose head he covered with a sheet as he
moved further and further down Brian’s torso. Sigh. Shit! Where was
this dude when I frequented comic book stores twenty years ago?

“Don’t be one of those assholes who hides, Mikey,” Brian told Michael.
Unfortunately, sometimes there just isn’t a choice. Michael is in a job
were being gay is not an option if you want to get somewhere of any
significance. This resonates very clearly to me because I’m in the same
situation in one of my two jobs where I’m the head of my department.
Being out is not an option at all and if discovered, that’s the end of
the job. I don’t even really like it anymore or have an interest in it,
but it is a primary means of income and there aren’t any other options
at the moment and so you have to make a choice of whether you want to
be out and proud, or you want to eat and live another day.

This is the exact same dilemma the Michael faces in working at the Big
Q. Choosing to eat and live another day is what he’s doing because it
is what’s right for him at this point in his life, even if it means
swallowing your gay pride and working after hours to take inventory of
toilet paper. He was just adorable when he told Tracey of his secret
identity as “Laser Man.” But poor Michael, it only made her all the
more interested in him… just the same it would’ve done to me!

Doctor Dave. No offense to Chris Potter who portrays him, but this was
my least favorite character in the entire series. I can see how Michael
fell for him though – a charming, attractive doctor that suddenly
becomes interested in you – but there was just something off. There was
something that didn’t fit. I felt that way five years ago, but still
rooted for their relationship to succeed anyway. David’s world was all
new to Michael. It was a world of fine dining, wine, relationships, and
dating without sex.

On the opposite side of the scale, Justin has nothing but dick on the
brain as he aptly put it to his shrink in front of his mother. The
shrink seemed more shocked than Jennifer was. I do know that if that
would’ve been me, my mother would’ve drug me by the ear into the
bathroom and washed my mouth out with soap. (I don’t recommend the
experience or its use on children… it is horribly traumatic.) But
that’s what they did when a good catholic boy comes home from the first
day of elementary school and shares the colorful new four-letter words
he learned at recess. Thirty years later I’m still self-conscious even
about PG swearing in front of my mother who doesn’t like bad language.
But on the flipside, the lesson got across – you don’t say fuck in
front of your mother when you are six years old. Who knew?

Jennifer goes looking for Justin but ends up finding Debbie. It seems
that everyone always finds her when they are in need of advice, even in
Jennifer’s case when she had no clue that Debbie is who you go to. She
just attracts people with some sort of metaphysical power it seems. And
too right that is. She always has the best advice, though it may be
heavily peppered with some of that bad colorful language! Jen did take
Debbie’s advice and extended the olive branch to Justin, by saying,
“Don’t run from me because I’m not running from you.” However, in
Brian-esque fashion, the little snot ditches his mom at the museum to
hook up with a hottie in the men’s room.

It seems like everyone was getting some in this episode! Since Michael got nowhere with Doctor Dave, he too acted like Brain and went to the backroom at Babylon for a blow job. Juxtaposed to that is a complete role reversal for Brian who actually blew, uh hum, an account because
the guy was more willing to get laid then to care about his little girl
breaking her arm. Apparently Brian is not entirely about getting his
dick sucked after all. He had ditched a dinner with Mel and Lindz to
trade sexual favors for a million dollar account, but when push came to
shove he ditched the old guy, sent him packing on a plane and showed up
at Mel and Lindsay’s hours late. Of course Lindsay let him in and as
she was fixing him something to eat he fell asleep on the sofa holding
his son who was lying on his chest.